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Lockley: Last of the Mohicans

Sep 1 2008

"IF you don’t stop messing with my son’s hair,” I bellowed at a clearly shaken Alfonso, “I will report you.”...

Lockley: Uncle's world crumbled like a coconut cream

Sep 1 2008

I’VE given 22 years of my life to that company,” bemoaned Uncle Derek, fighting back tears, “and this is the thanks I get.”...

Lockley: I am ready to 'plum' the depths with the Cheeky Girls

Aug 18 2008

IF the plight of our dwindling bumble bee population wasn’t enough to push me towards mental meltdown, I’ve just been informed, via email, that the British plum is under threat....

Lockley: Happiness can't buy you money!

Jul 27 2008

The older I get, the more I despise those with bigger bank accounts, which is most people....

Lockley: I'm pretty fly for a flymo guy

Jun 23 2008

EVERY time I get my lawnmower out, him next door does the same....

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