Move and ELO star Roy Wood : why I hate daytime TV

May 10 2009 by Roy Wood, guest writer for The Sunday Mercury

ENTERTAINMENT on the telly seems to be the product of a bygone era. Programmes that only a few years ago would not have even been considered fit for cable TV are now flooding our main channels at peak viewing times.

Is this a huge attempt to save money, or do our programme planners just have no decent ideas or taste anymore? Turn on the terrestrial channels, and what’s on offer? After news repeated every half-hour until you can remember every item and link line by line, we now have Homes Under The Hammer.

We’re sitting in an auction room where they’re selling some dilapidated property, usually purchased by two brothers who install new window frames and a kitchen, and paint it a safe magnolia all through with fake laminate wood floors.

But wait a minute, there’s been a hitch. They can’t get planning permission to move the bathroom upstairs. All will be revealed in the next episode. I’m on the edge of my seat gripped by anticipation.

After some more news headlines, blow me down, it’s yet another property programme, To Buy Or Not To Buy. I can hardly believe my luck.

They’re showing couples around houses that they’re not particularly interested in. Then there’s The Wild Card – the most quirky property the local estate agent could find for sale, usually a windmill, a signal box or a lighthouse. Now it’s “try before you buy”, which they’re forced to do because it’s part of the format. These people are JUST NOT INTERESTED.

They end up walking away wondering why the hell they’ve just wasted hours and hours recording this thing, when they could have been enjoying themselves down the pub.