Home News Columnists Mike Lockley

Mike Lockley: My belly-dancing You Tube shape with nubile Natasha

HOPEFULLY, you missed the pictures in sister paper The Mail of Yours Truly belly-dancing.Read

Lockley: Not all journalists are phone hackers - I can't even work a phone

JOURNALISTS, since the very infancy of this proud profession, have been trained to find answers to the six ‘w’s’: who, what, where, when, why and how.Read

Lockley: BT, Vivaldi's Four Seasons and Ravi in Delhi

I’LL bet when Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone, people who had teething problems with his kit and wanted advice from the great man weren’t put on hold for seven minutes and had to endure Vivaldi’s The Four Seasons.Read

Mike Lockley: Cat's recovery has cost me dear

IN something akin to a moggie miracle, our cat has rallied from the brink of death.Read

Mike Lockley: Supermarket boycott after pensioner went wild in the aisles

WHEN I was a child a jolly chap called Mr Payne delivered our groceries in a green Bedford van.Read

Mike Lockley: £500 bill as our beloved cat nears an end

WE are bracing ourselves for a death in the family. The patient – clinging to life in an oxygen tent – is only three years old, felled by a rare genetic heart condition.Read

Mike Lockley: Online dating is a waste of time - that's why all IT workers are single and into Star Wars

I AM stunned by the number of friends who are actively seeking love online.Read

Mike Lockley: Online dating is a waste of time - that's why all IT workers are single and into Star Wars

I AM stunned by the number of friends who are actively seeking love online.Read

Lockley: Are all the recycling bins wheelie worth it

REFUSE collectors have boycotted our green bin – for garden waste – this week.Read

Lockley: Thank god I missed the bi-sexual donkeys

wMy mother has a ‘thing’ about animals mating on wildlife documentaries.Read

Lockley: Killer cucumber shock

SHAKEN by news these shores have been invaded by killer cucumbers.Read

Mike Lockley: Searching for sun-drenched stunners in the summer of 1976

THIS is set to be the hottest summer on record, ‘boffins’ have told a national newspaper.Read

Mike Lockley: I was more famous that Stan Collymore, Jakki Degg and Lightning from Gladiators

JUST a month ago, internet encyclopaedia Wikipedia listed me in its ‘Five famous people from Cannock’ section.Read

Lockley: Tanker eruption sparks a full scale eco erruption in our back garden

THE machines at our crumbling, humble abode are in rebellion.Read

Lockley: I am the next Mike Bassett!

I SIGHED, staring at the mound of hate-mail spread over the kitchen table,Read

Lockley: I can't believe Osama bin Laded isn't my binman

NEWS that Osama bin Laden is dead has shattered my theory he was our binman.Read

Lockley: I bring you this week's column courtesy of a hookah pipe

If somebody had told me before this break, I’d be lying on thrown-cushions in a Bedouin tent, smoking from a hookah pipe, I would’ve said they’d been lying in a Bedouin tent, smoking a hookah pipe.Read

Mike Lockley: I have discover my Patriotism

SOMETHING stirred within me this week. Something I hadn’t felt since Bucks Fizz won Eurovision.Read

Lockley: I'm off on my camel to pay tribute to those clever, clever Egyptians

I INTEND to go ‘native’ during next week’s holiday in Egypt.Read

Lockley: Barmaid's baby has played havoc with my drinking

SOMETHING happens to women when they see a baby.Read

Quick Links

Get Involved

We want your local stories, videos & pics.