Hitler's tunes not music to mein ears

May 17 2009 by Tony Larner, Sunday Mercury

I’M addicted to satellite TV’s documentary channels, even though every programme is about Adolf Hitler, sharks or someone picking up deadly snakes.

Someone should make Hitler’s Sharks and save Sky a shedload of money. Either that, or a programme on reptile experts of the Third Reich.

By contrast, I spent last night glued to a one-hour programme on ‘the foot-binders of ancient China’.

It carried a ‘don’t try this at home’ warning.

A documentary about swimming with great white sharks didn’t. That is irresponsible.

I loved the History Channel’s Hitler’s Music: a kind of Desert Island Discs for the Fuhrer, which started with the stark warning: “If you like any of the following pieces, you share your musical taste with Adolf Hitler.”

Thankfully, there was no ABBA or Suzi Quatro, just lots of Wagner.

There was a distinct lack of sing-a-long material, to be honest – a real own-goal for someone who organised so many rallies. What An Atmosphere by Russ Abbott would’ve gone down a storm with the stormtroopers, I’ll bet.

And there was nothing you’d want to try at a karaoke.

As an aid to relaxation, I’ve got a CD of whale noises: the eerie moans accompanied by haunting synthesizers. If he’d listened to that, Hitler would never have invaded Poland. I’m convinced of it.

The hour-long documentary concluded the Nazi was not much of a dancer. But, boy, could he teach today’s rappers a thing or two about hand movements.