Biggest bonfire I'd ever seen

Nov 3 2008 By Mike Lockley

Got a leaflet through the door urging me to check for hedgehogs before Bonfire night celebrations.

There were none in the box of fireworks I got.

“Last year’s village bonfire will take some beating,” I told Colin. “It was massive. The flames must’ve been 20 foot high.”

“That was my house burning down after a stray rocket went through the kitchen window,” hissed Colin. “Didn’t you notice the three tenders and 30 firefighters?”

“I thought they were there to fish the jacket potatoes from the bottom of the pyre,” I said.

This year, the council intends to build the biggest bonfire on record and has asked parishioners to donate unwanted palettes to the cause.

Toni, who owns the swank Italian restaurant, arrived at the playing fields with six boxes of crockery. “Sorry, guys,” he chirped. “I’m right outa palettes - will soup bowls do?”