Mike Lockley: Women still ignore me...

Oct 25 2008

WHEN it comes to the fairer sex, I’ve still got it.

Women ignore me, just as they did 30 years ago.

I’m haunted by visions of lurching towards pretty young things, their faces creased in a cocktail of shock and disdain, during the smoochy numbers at discos.

I’d usually make my move during a syrupy ballad by Chicago entitled If You Leave Me Now. I liked that one: it was slow enough to allow you to dance and hold a pint at the same time.

Sally Kendrick, who I held a torch for, once famously refused to dance with me because she was sweating. She suggested I danced with her mate, but she was sweating also.

Sally went on to marry a foundry worker who sweated for a living, which was nice. I think they met at a lonely hearts club for sweaty people.