Aston Villa Player Profiles

Jun 20 2008

The Gaffer - Martin O'Neill

Date of birth: 1 March 1952

Birthplace/nationality: Kilrea/Northern Irish

Nickname: Martin NoDeal

Played for: Distillery, Nottingham Forest, Norwich, Manchester City, Notts County, Northern Ireland

Managed: Grantham, Shepshed, Wycombe, Norwich, Leicester, Celtic

Fascinating fact you probably already knew about Martin O'Neill: He studied criminology and still takes a keen interest in trials.

In honour of O'Neill's love of criminology, we wondered if Villa players were famous crime-fighters who would they be?

Wilfred Bouma

Date of birth: 15 June 1978

Birthplace/nationality: Helmond, North Brabant/Dutch

Position: Left back/centre-half

Signed from: PSV, August 2005

If he were a crime-fighter, Bouma would be…

Van Der Valk – Seemed ropey at first but a pleasant theme has emerged - the more you watch this Dutchman in action the better he gets.

Marlon Harewood

Date of birth: 25 August 1979

Birthplace/nationality: Hamstead/English, although Barbados want him

Position: Striker

Signed from: West Ham, July 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Harewood would be...

Kojak - Big, bald and used to suck.

Ashley Young

Date of birth: 9 July 1985

Birthplace/nationality: Stevenage/English

Position: Winger

Signed from: Watford, January 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Young would be...

Jonathan Creek - Capable of magic and always delivers.

John Carew

Date of birth: 5 September 1979

Birthplace/nationality: Lorenskog, Akershus/Norwegian

Position: Striker

Signed from: Lyon, January 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Carew would be…

Miss Marple – Gives the impression of being a decrepit old has-been but can burst into life to devastating effect.

Stuart Taylor

Date of birth: 28 November 1970

Birthplace/nationality: Romford/English

Position: Goalkeeper

Signed from: Arsenal, June 2005

If he were a crime-fighter, Taylor would be...

Dr Watson - The perennial understudy has been known to provide the odd solution before being put back in his place.

Zat Knight

Date of birth: 2 May 1980

Birthplace/nationality: Solihull/English

Position: Centre half

Signed from: Fulham, August 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Knight would be…

Inspector Gadget – Clumsy, absent-minded and oblivious. His extendable legs, and more often than not his colleagues, help him catch his foes.

Martin Laursen

Date of birth: 26 July 1977

Birthplace/nationality: Farvang/Danish

Position: Centre-half

Signed from: AC Milan, Summer 2004

If he were a crime-fighter, Laursen would be

Gene Hunt from Life on Mars - A typical old style operator who gets stuck in and will do anything to get a result, no matter what the consequences.

Curtis Davies

Date of birth: 15 March 1985

Birthplace/nationality: Leytonstone/English

Position: Centre-half

Signed from: West Bromwich Albion, August 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Davies would be...

Ironside - Not even his physical frailties can stop him being regarded as one of the best in the business. Is more intelligent than many of his peers.

Moustapha Salifou

Date of birth: 1 June 1983

Birthplace: Lome/Togo

Position: Midfielder

Signed from: FC Wil, August 2007

If he were a crime fighter, Salifou would be

Hercule Poirot - His only contribution comes right at the end and is hardly worth waiting for.

Wayne Routledge

Date of birth: 7 January 1985

Birthplace/nationality: Sidcup/English.

Position: Winger

Signed from: Tottenham, January 2008

If he were a crime-fighter, Routledge would be…

Taggart – There’s been no sign of him for ages, but the action carries on whether he’s there or not.

Stiliyan Petrov

Date of birth: 5 July 1979

Birthplace/nationality: Montana/Bulgarian

Position: Attacking midfielder

Signed from: Celtic, August 2006

If he were a crime fighter, Petrov would be...

Ace Ventura Pet Detective - He’s got ‘Pet’ in his name.

Nigel Reo-Coker

Date of birth: May 14 1984

Birthplace/nationality: Croydon/English

Position: Defensive midfielder/emergency right-back at Old Trafford

Signed from: West Ham, July 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Reo Coker would be...

Detective Sergeant George Carter from the Sweeney - He was not the most popular of enforcers on the London beat. But used his energy and toughness to stop dangerous foes.

Nathan Delfouneso

Date of birth: 2 February 1991

Birthplace/nationality: Birmingham/English

Position: Striker

Signed from: Came through Villa academy

If he were a crime fighter, Delfouneso would be

Judge Dredd - a future member of the elite corp with the weaponry to one day take the city by storm.

Craig Gardner

Date of birth: 25 November 1986

Birthplace: Solihull/English

Position: Midfield/makeshift right-back

Signed from: Came through Villa academy

If he were a crime-fighter, Gardner would be...

Rosemary from Rosemary and Thyme - A pleasant, if not particularly dynamic Gardener who solves problems.

Isaiah Osbourne

Date of birth: 15 November 1987

Birthplace/nationality: Birmingham/English

Position: Midfielder

Signed from: Came through Villa academy

If he were a crime-fighter, Osbourne would be...

West Midlands Police chief constable Sir Paul Scott Lee - It’s debatable whether anyone from outside the region has ever heard of him.

Shaun Maloney

Date of birth: 24 January 1983

Birthplace/nationality: Penang, Malaysia/Scottish

Position: Winger/striker

Signed from: Celtic, January 2007

If he were a crime-fighter, Maloney would be…

Hamish Macbeth - A likeable Scot whose arresting performances are rare. Has little hope of being promoted above his current station. Popular north of the border, but was withdrawn after a few seasons.

Stephen O’Halloran

Date of birth: 29 November 1987

Birthplace/nationality: Cobh/Republic or Ireland

Position: Left back/centre-half

Signed from: Came through Villa academy

If he were a crime-fighter, O’Halloran would be

Tommy Murphy from Murphy’s Law - He’s Irish and not many people have watched him.

Gabby Agbonlahor

Date of birth: 13 October 1986

Birthplace/nationality: Erdington/English

Position: Striker/winger

Signed from: Came through the Villa academy

If he were a crime-fighter, Agbonlahor would be…

Rocky from Boon - Not the brightest of Brummies, but one of the the leading characters in this Birmingham based show.

Gareth Barry

Date of birth: 23 February 1981

Birthplace/nationality: Hastings/English

Position: Central midfield, centre-half, left-back, left midfield

Signed from: Brighton, August 1997.

If he were a crime-fighter, Barry would be...

Dixon of Dock Green - The original, some would argue the best, and won't be forgotten.

Steve Sidwell

Date of birth: 14 December 1982

Birthplace/nationality: Wandsworth/English

Position: Midfielder

Signed from: Chelsea, July 2008

If he were a crime-fighter, Sidwell would be...

Scully from the X-Files - Dynamic redhead whose time with X-club was something of a mystery.