Brad Ashton: The man who wrote the jokes for Groucho Marx and Tony Hancock

Sep 20 2008 By Lorne Jackson

WHEN the telephone blares at two in the morning, you know it means trouble.

Or something equally disturbing.

Like Groucho Marx calling to ask for advice about a shopping trip to Woolworths.

That’s what happened to Brad Ashton at any rate – when Groucho instigated a wind-up campaign against him.

In the 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s, Brad was one of the most successful comedy writers in the UK.

The maestro of mirth worked for most of the great comedians, including Frankie Howerd, Les Dawson, David Frost and Bruce Forsyth.

He also had a close bond with Brummie Tony Hancock, and will be reminiscing about his friend at the Tony Hancock Appreciation Society Convention, which is part of the Birmingham Comedy Festival.

Hancock may have been a chum – but Groucho was more of a chump.

The legendary American comic visited England in the 1960s to record a series for British television and Brad was head writer on the show.

Thus began a tempestuous relationship.

“I’ve still got the scars from my time writing for Groucho,” he says. “He was difficult because he didn’t understand the English sense of humour.

“While he was here, he’d talk in a Dick Van Dyke accent, which he thought was very funny.

“But the audience didn’t like it.

“At the time he was 74, and his eyesight wasn’t as good as it could have been. His scripts were on cue cards that he couldn’t see, so he was fluffing like mad.”

Attitude

Even worse, writer and performer battled over a routine which Groucho didn’t rate.

Brad threatened to quit. Groucho threatened to fire him.

Eventually the cigar-sucking snigger merchant agreed to run with it.

However, he came to an arrangement that if he didn’t get a laugh, Brad was fired.

But if the chuckles arrived, Brad would double his wages.

Brad doubled his wages.

“Then Groucho started implying that I was a know-it-all,” says the 77 year-old Londoner.

“He’d phone me at three or four in the morning, saying, ‘You know everything, don’t you?

“‘Well, I’m going to Woolworths tomorrow to buy matches. So wha’d’ya think – should I get Swan Vesta?’”

Groucho’s star was definitely on the wane when he worked with Brad.

However, the writer remembers Hancock at his peak.

He didn’t write for him – that job went to his regular partners, Ray Galton and Alan Simpson.

But along with Eric Sykes, Brad attended the recording of his shows, and even took part in the warm-up routines, as Hancock regularly invited him on stage.

“Hancock was a one off,” he smiles. “He was a great performer. The first comic who didn’t need gags.

“His humour was his attitude – his outlook made any scene he was in funny.”

But some comedians needed more help to make their mark.

Such as Frankie Howerd.

Entering his office one afternoon, Brad found Frankie sitting at his desk.

The comic wanted him to adapt a series of scripts that he had brought with him.

“He told me to read them, then left for a couple of hours,” says Brad.

“When he returned, he asked me what I thought of them. I said I thought they were very funny.

“‘Who gets the laughs?’ he asked. ‘Well, you get 60 per cent of them’, I said.

“‘What’s the show called?’ asked Frankie and I replied ‘The Frankie Howerd Show.’

“‘Right’, he said. ‘Now re-write those scripts so that I get every laugh.’”

While Frankie was a prima-donna of the punchline, Les Dawson preferred to hide many of his talents.

Especially his intelligence.

“Les was better educated than I first realised,” Brad said. “He spoke loads of languages.

“One time I was in a Chinese restaurant with him in Leeds, and he started speaking fluent Mandarin to the waiter.”

Brad has spent his life surrounded by talented performers.

So did he ever feel the urge to take his place beneath the spotlight and soak up all that applause and adulation for himself?

“I tried to make it as a comic 50 years ago,” he sighs. “I performed a 12-minute act at this place where all the agents came along.

“I asked one agent what he thought of my act.

“He said, ‘Do you want me to be honest?’

“That’s when I knew I was in trouble.

“Then he said, ‘I’ve seen some great comedians on stage with lousy material. You’re the complete opposite.’

“But I wasn’t too disappointed. I’m happy to be a backroom boy.

“I let those other guys face the audience.

“My job was just to make them look funny.”

* Brad appears at the Tony Hancock Appreciation Society Convention on Saturday, October 11 at the Old Joint Stock Theatre in Birmingham City Centre. For more information tel: 0121 200 0946.